I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
