Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
