For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
