so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
