i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
