if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
ttyl tear gas
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
