Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
