All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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