In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
When are your genitals available?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize