So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
