420 ftw
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My penis needs a shock collar
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize