I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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