Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
