All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
