she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
please come you make the beer taste better
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
