Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
