Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
