try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
