in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
