pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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