Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
