Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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