Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
