He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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