he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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