I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
