I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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