He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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