kristin has been a bad kristin
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize