I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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