Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I need to calm my uterus...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
