it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
