She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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