"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
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