told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
