your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
