haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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