Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Boobs speak an international language.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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