Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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