You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
sarcasm needs its own font
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize