yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize