We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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