Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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