I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
