is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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