i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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