You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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