Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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