Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
