just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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