It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
