you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
