is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
