I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
