you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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