yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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