New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
