I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
