The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
