i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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