Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
