why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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