Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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