you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
