the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
