Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
