I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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