dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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